Freaky Flag Day

Now before anyone jumps down my throat at my religious intolerance, suggesting that I would slap the label "freak" on someone who thinks we need an "American Christian flag" and who thinks Satan talks to her through telephone poles, let me clarify: the aforementioned "freak" refers to me. As in, this lady freaks me out. Which is my own problem, really, resulting from a vivid imagination and having read Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale a little too closely.

Anyway, the Baltimore Sun reports that Marcia Thompson Eldreth from Cecil County, MD, was inspired to create an American Christian flag, featuring, among other elements, a bald eagle carrying a bloody cross and a chopped-up Scripture quote that looks forward to Armageddon with joy.

Noah Diamond of Nero Fiddled (an awesome blog I just discovered by Googling Ms. Eldreth) views it much more maturely than I did. He even called her up and asked her what her reaction would be if someone wanted to fly her flag over a government building (read his post to find out what she said).

When I read the Sun article, I stood in my kitchen quivering, going, "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God," and imagining this flag flying high as the 2007 Purge of Free Thinkers begins.

However, as her website clearly states (click on "Pledge," as the entire site is done in frames)

This pledge, flag, and its mission is not to replace our government pledge OR Old Glory. We are NOT trying to overthrow our government or force anyone to be a Christian.

Okay, but please understand, Ms. Eldreth, that you've written that disclaimer under a revised Pledge of Allegiance that reads:

I pledge allegiance,
to the Christian Flag,
of the United States of America,
and to the Lord, who made us great and free.
I purpose, to band together, with all believers,
to protect the truth and liberty of God.

Furthermore, your "Press Release" is headlined "Northeastern Maryland Woman Declares War Against Liberalism!"

While this flag declares and visually speaks of many aspects, they all basically come under a Threefold Heading. First, let it be a Wave Offering unto our Lord, then a Declaration of war on Satan and his lies of liberalism and secularism, and finally a prophetic proclamation of Christ’s second coming.

It's my duty as an American citizen to be tolerant of all religions. But I don't have to stand by and applaud someone who says that my beliefs, at the center of which rest Christ's edicts to care for the poor and downtrodden, are lies of Satan. I don't have to celebrate the fact that she and her Operation Band Together are looking forward to watching me and my kind be thrust into the gaping maw of Hell. Really, I think this situation calls for a response more like, "Fuck off, you crazy bitch! I love Jesus, too!"

Note: I've refrained from using profanity on this website, in an effort to maintain the readership of my mom and those using library computers, but when someone declares war on me, when someone questions my faith simply because I'm a liberal, I'm not going to be mature or circumspect about it. I can recognize it as an exercise of free speech and expression of creativity. I'd fight like hell to protect her right to say what she wants, but I won't be trampled in the name of tolerance.

Like most of the Radical Religious Right, this woman has a persecution complex the size of the Roman Coliseum. When a thunderstorm struck out her phones while she was taking Flag Day orders last year, she took it as a sign from Satan that he was trying to thwart her efforts. So she thanked him for confirming her beliefs.

Because everything confirms these people's beliefs. Everything that happens, every new event or piece of information has to fit into their narrow conception of reality, or it's ignored. Overwhelming evidence for evolution and the Big Bang? Nope, not getting through. Terry Schiavo's autopsy report? La la la, can't hear it.

The most ironic part of the flag to me is the Bible quote the eagle carries in its mouth: "Take heed that no man deceive you." (Matthew 24:4)

Considering that someone has been feeding this woman the popular lie that "Our nation was based on Judeo-Christian principles," I think she's the one who'd better take heed.