Back in the USSR

Oh. Sorry, that's the Stars and Stripes flying overhead, not the hammer and sickle.

These days, it's hard to tell.

The latest affront to free speech: The EPA has put a pre-election "gag order" on its employees. No talking to reporters. That's NO talking to reporters. I can imagine the details sound like a survival guide to avoiding bear attacks:

If you are approached by a reporter, back away slowly. Do NOT make eye contact. If the reporter asks you which way is the restroom, do not speak! Hand them one of these preprinted cards with the Office of Public Affairs' number on it, then back away. Do not show fear!
If the reporter pursues you, climb a cubicle wall until it loses interest and goes away. If no cubicles are available, curl up in a ball and play dead. At this point, the reporter may sniff you and even poke you with his pencil. Maintain your death facade.
Remember the example of our President: If you fake ignorance long enough, it becomes a part of you, and everyone will leave you alone.

Oh wait, I have another fun example. CBS this week killed a story that it worked on for six months about how the Bush administration obtained forged documents that made it appear Saddam Hussein was trying to buy uranium from Niger. Yes, the infamous "yellowcake" documents that our Commander in Deceit used in his 2002 State of the Union address as a reason why we should attack Iraq. Apparently CBS now considers it "inappropriate" to inconvenience the TV-viewing public with the facts about why our sons and daughters, our brothers and sisters and friends are dying in the desert for a LIE.

Why is it "inappropriate" to show this story? Because there's an election coming up. Yes, that's what they said. That's what they said. That's really what they said.

A presidential election is an inappropriate time to talk about the President.

"Let me hear your balalaikas ringing out."